Funny junk

John fanzine is a surreal British humour website featuring animated jokes, satire and assorted funny junk.
the23rdman  08.12.04, 18:15:45
Morton Harket

I don't know if this counts as good, but here goes...

Morton Harkett

"My dear chap," said the fella I met in the supermarket,
"Has anybody mentioned you're the spit of Morton Harket?"
"Do you mean the Scandinavian lad who found fame with Aha,
or the brummie with the lisp who does the service on my car?"
He looked at me reproachfully and said, ?What do you think?"
I didn't like his tone of voice so I just gave a wink.
The wink I used, I think did bruise his ego just a bit,
I'd seen that bird Anne Robinson from the Weakest Link use it.
"There's no need to be like that"
The chappy looked quite hurt,
"I could have said that with those legs you would look better in a skirt"
On this point I couldn't argue, it's true I've got great pins,
so I thought what the hell and smiled,
he thinks he's in and grins.
"Don't get the wrong impression, mate, I'm as red blooded as you"
This didn't reassure me so I rushed off to isle two.
"No wait there mate, I think you're great"
he yelled as he came for me,
"I'm not after your lunchbox, just join me for some tea."
He followed me past the coffee and through the frozen section,
shouting "Come home, meet my cat. I've got a rubber mask collection!"
By this time people were staring, trying to get out the way,
they could see by my face that I didn't want to play.
I'd had enough of running so I turned around and said,
"Leave me alone you nutter, you're completely off your head!"
He didn't take rejection well and burst into a flood of tears,
"I don't know what came over me, I've been a fan of Morton's for years"
"There, there don't cry, come to my car, it's right there where I parked it"
He's ok now cos he's found love with the brummie Morton Harkett!

Well, it amused me when I wrote it.