Repertoire:
1. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The Pied Piper of Hamlin
2. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Rapunzel
3. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Snow White
4. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The Story of Christmas
5. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer







Tales from the Gloopy Minstrel

I hate this job

Traditional fables from the story teller who'd much rather be down the pub



The Pied Piper of Hamlin
nce upon a time there was this bloke. And he lived in a town called, er, Ham... Hamlin, that's it. Hamlin. Was it...? No... Yeah. Yeah, that's right. It is Hamlin, yeah. Okay, anyway, This bloke decides to, er...

Oh! He was a piper! That's it! I forgot! He was a piper! Of course! He was the pied piper and he lived in Hamlin! Okay. Right. This bloke, this piper (He plays the pipes, You know, the... pipes, yeah) He decides to, er, get rid of the... the...

Shit! No! I've done it wrong! I'll start again. Okay. Right.



The Pied Piper of Hamlin
R ight. Once upon a time there was this town. And it was called Hamlin. That's the name of the town. Right. And this town, Hamlin, was full of all these rats! That's it! I forgot about the rats before! I remember it now! I remember it!

There are all these rats and they eat all the food and they spread... Malaria, is it? Rats? Malaria? Anyway, it doesn't matter. There are all these rats and they spread... disease and stuff. And basically everybody just wants to get shut of 'em, but they can't.

So one day this bloke turns up, and he's the piper I was on about. And he says 'I'll get rid of the rats', like, and he starts playing the... thing. The pipe. And all the rats follow him, and he goes off and he takes all the rats away, and they all live happily ever after!

TThe End



N o, hang on... It doesn't stop there. It carries on. He comes back afterwards. And he hasn't got the rats with him. He's just...

I don't know where the rats are, He's just got rid of 'em. They've gone. And he says... Er...

Shit! I can't remember! He get's back, and...

No! It's gone! Erm... Oh sod it, It was a crap story anyway. I'll tell you what, I'll do Dick Turpin instead. It's good, Dick Turpin. I can remember that one. Okay. Right. Dick Turpin. I'll do Dick Turpin.



Dick Turpin
T his bloke used to live in York and pinch stuff off people, so they hanged him.



TThe End










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