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Copyright

CLASSIC WEATHER

Wednesday 23rd Sep 1970

requested by K. Yates of Berkshire

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
with the Reverend Daniel O'Shelves
the Reverend Daniel o'Shelves

"Kill the extremists."

Veggie Strike Enters Third Week

16.07.02 11:06:10 GMT Reporter: Herbie Vore

As the nationwide strike by Britain's vegetarians enters its third week, there is still no end to the dispute in sight.

Harry Coe, leader of the Vegetarians' Union & Liberal Vegan Alliance, called for the action twenty one days ago.

Speaking at the annual lettuce conference in London, Mr Coe told assembled salad munchers that "The powers that be in this country have ignored the rights of non-meat eaters for far too long. We must show them that we are serious, that we are not to be ignored. For this reason I feel there is no alternative but to take immediate industrial action."

"I therefore hereby call upon all members to cast aside their broccoli, to push their nut cutlets to the side of their plates, to turn their back on all manner of textured vegetable protein until such time as our demands are taken seriously by those in office. Thankyou".

The action began with bacon butties at midnight, and has continued since with a series of high-profile hog roasts around the country.

The hog was unavailable for comment
A petition was also delivered to number 10 Downing Street, bearing over two million signatures and a list of the union's demands, daubed on the side of a giant inflatable quince.

Demands being made include the introduction of an independent vegetarian parliament by the end of the decade, the abolition of tax on celery and the lowering of the age of consent for vegans.

Though the Prime Minister recently ruled out negotiation with the protesters, telling parliament that "Britain will not be held to ransom by a bunch of lentil munching anarchists", there are many in government who fear the consequences of the dispute going on for much longer.

Already, warehouses around the country are full to bursting point with uneaten Quorn, and there are fears that the army may have to be called in to remove mountains of rotting tofu from Britain's streets should the strike last for more than another fortnight.

Also, according to a recently leaked government document, secret plans to ship excess stocks of the textured bean curd product to the starving in Africa fell through when the starving politely declined, stating that that they weren't that hungry thankyou very much.

Mr Coe, however, remains determined to carry on with the strike action until "a satisfactory resolution" is reached.

"It's about time that this country started taking vegetarianism seriously" he told us, between mouthfuls of undercooked pork.



 



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