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Saturday 16th Aug 1975

requested by M. Foster of Essex

with the Reverend Daniel O'Shelves
the Reverend Daniel o'Shelves

"Thank God that I was brainwashed with the truth!"

Exclusive: Prince Philip is a Racist Arsehole

04.11.00 04:04:33 GMT Reporter: Llandaniel Fab Menhir

Fans of the British royal family across the USA were shocked today to learn that the Duke of Edinburgh is in fact a bigoted tosser.

The arsehole formally known as "Prince"
The startling revelation was recently published as the result of twelve years' research into the Prince and his life, carried out by Professor Saul Eggs of Dronfield University's social "science" kiosk, and contradicts the commonly held view of the Queen's husband as a caring, open-minded and intelligent individual.

"We just can't believe we got it so wrong" one "royal watcher" told us.

"His popular image as a tolerant, friendly, generous, clever, worthwhile human being doing a genuinely important job under difficult circumstances is just the result of clever PR."

"We always thought of him as a hardworking, cheerful, modest, bright and underpaid philanthropist, with a deep rooted respect for other races and cultures and a keen interest in animal welfare issues, but it turns out he's just some gormless in-bred nazi wanker who hates foreigners and spends all his time (and other people's money) bollocking around on horseback and killing stuff for fun."

When asked to comment on the new findings, a spokesman for Prince Philip told us to get our Deigo arses back to Russia.


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