Church Slams "Satanic" Video Game


Mud news


"Skeleton Escape" Lad in "GM Water" Row


"Kids Might Smell" Says Scientist


Travel News

« Prev 10
News Home
News Archive
Discuss this Story
Translate this Story for Non-English Speakers
RSS feed


Friday 16th May 1975

requested by K. James of Shrewsbury

with the Reverend Daniel O'Shelves
the Reverend Daniel o'Shelves

"Jesus loves you. He's just not in love with you."

"Everything's Twice As Big As We Think It Is"

06.04.04 11:44:08 GMT Reporter: R. Euler

A group of researchers have stunned the scientific community by announcing that absolutely everything is twice as big as previously thought.

Everything: Now 100% bigger
The team of eminent physicists, led by Professor Saul Eggs of Dronfield University's Untenable Research Gazebo, published the controversial new theory yesterday in the journal Stuff.

According to their paper "Previous generations of scientists have consistently miscalculated the underlying base metric of the spatial universe by a factor of exactly 100%" and as a result "All objects, without exception, are therefore twice the size we all thought they were".

Reactions to the theory have so far been mixed, with many female undergraduates at Dronfield pointing out that Professor Eggs has a long history of claiming that things are larger than they really are.

When asked why it had taken so long for scientists to discover that everything was twice as big as previously thought Professor Eggs explained that "it applies to rulers as well".


Top of page Send this page to war Archive Log Mailing list Contact